phantomize

a wave from behind the veil (harry potter reference anyone?)

2007-08-26T02:39:11Z

fucking no one uses this thing anymore.
I know i don't! Last entry was in NOVEMBER OF LAST YEAR. In general, the past few years of posting have all started out as "Gee well it's been ages since i wrote anything!" and thus the cycle just repeats.

um to catch myself up the past year was an epic journey the starring jonathan e. berg and i and that's about it 'cause it's been over since may/june and we never quite found what were questing for.
however, pretty spontaneously we're talking again while he's in atlanta and i'm still in the awesomest place on earth. ciao!

i need to get the fuck out of here, but i'm afraid of taking big chances because i don't want to upset mom. if you cut down right to it that's the only thing that has been really stopping me aside from laziness.

but comming from the lace i'm in now i can hardly give a fuck. i need to go gogogogogogo. do shit alone and make it by myself - no safe bets, no burdens or dependencies. i don't know how i'm going to do it but i need to in order not to repeat her history and live life to up to the expectations and visions that I hold.

That's pretty much it.
PS this CD is friggin awesome.
Courtesy of jonathan.

[EDIT]
i just read the entry on 13 June 2006. I WAS SO COOL BACK THEN!
woah. it's like reading that letter i once wrote to jonathan and then he shoved it back in my face lol.
surprise!

This is a private entry

2006-11-02T21:01:13Z

It's been exactly two months since i logged on to this journal. I didn't meant for it to be that way, but life just slipped away under piles of dirty clothing and quarels.

I'm here to redeeem all of that.

I'm going to go home to Russia in three years, and between now and then i really have to thrown my life back on track. And not only mine, but also jonathans.

It's not as difficult as it seems. I honestly think that the 1st thing i need to do is to go back to the computer lol. Mine is dead now, with all kinds of crap and viruses and general DEATH.
I need to wipe it, reformat and make sure it runs top speed. Before that i need to save all of my music on Cds (or wipe them) because i'm not reinstalling limewire again. it's too much leakage.

Jonathan's in the testing center right now right down the hall, taking his placement test for the college.
I'm proud of him. He got his GED, he always has money now, he's very loving and starting to make his own sound decisions.
Tomorrow I'm going to get my new keyboard so i can type without looking at the keys and also faster,
Well i'm fast if i look, but that doesnt count.

There's much to do! I just need to wake up! I need money, so i can really bust into things.
But maybe that's just an excuse, and it probably is because one can do much without money. I need to do yoga and wake up again.
Crazy yoga. I miss it. Remember how i wanted to become a yoga instructor? Whatever happened to that? I miss it, my back hurts, i'm complaining lol.

THere are so many things i need to know!! I wish i had two computers in my room so Jonathan and i could stay up all night and do our thing, but it's difficult when one of us is bored cause then we just go to sleep.
And i hate that. Going to sleep. it's like the same thing as giving up.
I understand that rest is needed but not in that amount!! boo sleep.
Where is my energy?
What happened? I remember dan and scott telling me to contain my energy because it was senseless to let it burst out all the time, and also something along the lines of hurting other people. and that's the only thing that i remember and then all of a sudden it was gone.
I miss that too. Why am i sad lately?
Maybe i should just run to the unknown!
It's scary isn't it? It'll wake me up! Less sleep, more computer time, more reading, more research, more spontaneous exploration! more love! and pictures! and rallies! more emotion and proof. yes!!!

WAKE UP! overflow with drive!
and the pillars spewing smoke outside will look no more terrible then bad literature
Molecules caught in a whirl
ah what beauty language can bring.
it will devaover you
in its symphony
and air will never be as still or as quite
but instead rushed with the laugher
of your lover's voice

so...everyone's gone

2006-09-02T04:45:40Z

i just said bye to scott and genny .. and ..thats it!

haha. i feel so uneasy, like there's a clump of emotions in my throat, but i'm not a wreck or anything. i don't think it's hit me yet, or maybe i got it all out the night dan left.

and i pity myself, because it's so much easier to leave than to be left behind, but with their departure and (like genny said) the final realization that i'm never to enter highschool or those times again, i am left shivering at the wake of a new path.

a dark path as of now. i really don't know what's going to happen to my family in the next couple of months. we're flat out of money and to be cliche, out of love, and mom's pressuring me to finaly pick a stable, money-making career and i'm scattered.

things have been too smooth for a while, so i guess life's catching up on due events.

god i miss them already. so much. so so much.

alright friends

2006-07-04T23:38:13Z

let's do it janine-style with bullet points.

[bullet] for the love of god, i need to start SLEEPING. just for starters. and then! and then! i will start sleeping regularly (GASP!)WWIII
[bullet] also, need to find a morning job. now, finding a job is easy, but finding a job that interests me is difficult. not that i've really looked - i'm doing that "wow i need a good job" whiny thingy. tsk.
[bullet] i dont want to go through all the trouble and transfer to rutgers. i'm very contenct with my CCC classes so far and i have a great selection comming up in fall (world civilizations 2, cultural geography, into to philosophy, intro to political science and public speaking)
[bullet] and while on topic, i'm getting fanatically into the idea of politics. i know squat about them lol, but, .. still.

yeah i dont know where this is going. the sight at genny's party scarred my mind forever, but that's not what's bothering me. i think i just need rest, a healthy meal, a few fun runs and more reading outside.

cause to be honest, i've just been slacking off again. and this time i'm stopping it before it goes out of control.

i dont know how you kids do it e.e

2006-06-29T05:28:03Z

i spent a couple of days hanging out with friends, turned around and realized that the world ran away with out me.

tragic!

pfffff! friends! i, as usual, got stuff to do!

one, is apply and transfer to rutgers. i'm hitting the stange and irrational world of laws and SAT scores which ...i can't even remember. lol. i'm trying to get into the CollegeBoard to get my scores and i don't even remember the password or anything. crazy.

and also need to fucking finish that muril so i can take pictures and advertize cause i need mula for the trip and a 1000 other things.

SUCH AS

buffing up my car.

mmm what else? mom's more snappy than usual, but then again i'm hardly home so she gets worried. aaaaaand! got in touch with my psych professor again!
well, almost, i left him a note and he left me a voicemessage. i'll call him on a free day so i have .... talk! and travel! and all kinds of exciting things! yeeeiipee!

and on another world, i do believe i'm going to change the world as a career. lol
not completely, but say, take over the US education board for example, for starters. or fix the environment.
cause i'm sick.of.this.shit!
:D ya?

oh riddler riddle me this

2006-06-25T21:13:18Z

thursday night will be the last time i will be taking recreational drugs in my lifetime
also in about an hour i'm going to OD on caffiene XD

what do you have to say about that?

PS: and not 'bullshit' please :D

i have

2006-06-23T00:41:06Z

more teacher friends than friends friends

and i'm also closer to them than my peers XD

i love

old people

life in a flash

2006-06-21T20:41:35Z

i just got the most wonderful hug of my entire life

from kemery.
<3333333333

school was so strange. i walked off the practice field, trying to etch the class and the whole ceremony into my memory, just in case, but then Mr.Harris started hissing about somebody not following procedures and i smirked and left proudly.
i dont need to hear that one more time. i felt sorry for the rest, was that right?

then stayed in the latin room to draw from like ...9am to 4pm lol. two teachers asked me for hire, yum!
amazing, i really love the way the muril's comming along. those of you who didnt care enough to stop by and see it are assholes and are missing out. XDD

but i'll have pictures later. yeeeep.
well it's class time and i already miss kemery - he's going to Germany till end of July, but he's keeping his phone on for me :DDDDDDDD

dudes and duddetes
no other man deserves greater love

also, where can i burrow a working car that wouldnt mind being driven to ...basically the other side of US?

asap too
<3

last chance

2006-06-21T03:42:26Z

so tonight all of Eastern 2006 class is staring at the ceilling, coping with the idea of NEVER EVER COMMING BACK after tomorrow.

i'm glad, its about time. i'll be back thought haha i know. Mikey's going to eastern, one. then kemery and a bunch of teachers i love to death are there, two. and i have to finish the muril (sp???) asap.
so i'll be back on my own free will.

which is way different than the will of the past four years.

tonight we were recalling 1st memories of life and i went to places i have completely forgotten and it made me happy. i love mother russia lol.

welcome to the end of the beginning of your lives, as they will say tomorrow

cliche

on the fast and the furious

2006-06-18T22:27:11Z

the movie was completely pathetic to the point of hilarity, but omg the girl and cars.
THE CARS!!! i would sell my SOUL for those beauties. gaah ;o;

after the movie i had to force myself to drive extra slow cause i'm influenced by stuff like that. and later matt and i played a racing game in which he schooled me.
not fair, i want it. hah

today was tutoring this junior for 5 hours and i drilled latin 1 like breathing oxygen. bioatches XD
and then i fell asleep on my roof in a very stange position so i'm burnt/tan in odd place lol.

um. what else? oh, friday a sertain 3 had a tiny party and nadia got drunk a bit although jonathan claimed that my texts were not just "a bit" loopy
is that hypocritical against my morals? hmmm

anyway, OH! In late july genny and anna and i are running away.
BAI

3 more days, well, 1 really hah

2006-06-16T19:50:09Z

i'm taking only 6 friendships out of highschool

but damn they're good

murmurmur going insane

2006-06-15T11:05:36Z

so the last couple of days have been crazy, comming back from like a week's absense and smack into the end of the year.

tuesday when i stayed after for latin Nadira reminded me terribly of myself in junior year. I missed that thrill and care for things over the course of senior year and let all of my grades and activities slip. also realized how much i love languages

and then yesterday was just fucking nuts. I slept for 10 minutes that night, everything was only half done, i slipped in the hallway, my absences are a mess, failed a physics test, my uteris went "IM SHEDDING MOTHERFUCKER!!!111step off", and a billion other things and studdenly previous day's thoughts hit me like a rain of ...really heavy thingsand i broke down crying over the loss of my grades.

not so much the grades themselves, but just the aspect of working hard and learning and accelerating. I appologized to mr.rheam in tears that I'm sorry i haven't tried in his class and he was natually okay, didn't take it personally and said he knows i could have done much better but whatever

but icouldnt stop there, i just kept sobbing lol, good thing i had study hall. i found Dan and he sobbered my up a bit but still

last night i spent making a Latin verb review. it's not completely done and i don't understand some things, but i will, and it feels great

:D

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

2006-06-14T10:56:15Z

i had 10 mins of sleep.

somewhere around 2am.

and off i go!!!

1st this conversation

2006-06-14T03:33:27Z

thelovejacket: so lets make a reasonable estimate of our lives. let's say 80 year lifespan average (i'm still sticking to 120 lol). we've already lived out about 20 years and can proudly say that we have settled a lot of annoying emotional shit problems out of the way - here we can focus our life purpose and over all happiness. let's look at the horizon: the number one looming problem is the environment. the more we keep ignoring it, the worse it gets despite so many people trying to protect it. they estimate huge changes by 2020 - and that's when we're only 32. then it's the growing political problems - everyone over the world has drastically different policies and it creates a lot of tension and it makes me ..not nervous .hm. more curious, but still very cautious of the upcoming events. a wrong move can do a lot wrong, especially in the middle east (even though they've always been kinda NUTS!) on the same hand, a lot of good can be done too. like finally a working UN. and with such awesome world communications a lot of WOLRD organizations are springing up, which connects everyone and its a bout damn time. then it's the natural resource which quite frankly are almost at a null. if the problem is ignored, they will end within our lifetimes. wouldn’t that suck? but at the same time with things such as nanotechnology, we would be able to manufacture everything, from water to carrots, to tiny tin tiny computers with mass amounts of storage space - and if it works, then also in the upcoming 20 years or so. everything seems to collide in this general area and its all very very curious. very curious. i'm not talking about the end of the world or anything of the sort (although, LIKELY) but every generation has this BIG THING which we look back upon. i really makes me wonder what ours will be. there are so many possibilities. what worries me most is the schism between progress and regress. progress in the physical world mainly with technology and communications and living conditions and the regress in the moralistic world and pure humanism. to me, this is exactly what makes the future so difficult to predict - everything is improving and degrading at the same time and i have no idea what the world would look like in 2020. its as if most humans are conscious of this split as well, and they're not sure which side to pick and so far unable to utilize both.
Rosenoir14010: ok
Rosenoir14010: i typed up a huge thing
thelovejacket: kay!
Rosenoir14010: but i realized you really summed everything up extremely well. i love your balance between the excitement of upcoming technological advances and the decline of human nature. though in essence, i don't think we've changed all that much. it's just getting completely out of control because there are so many people in the world now. centuries ago there were much fewer and everything was kept under better control but it's impossible to keep things in order now and in response to that they're trying to document every breath we take in an electronic database and that's sort of counterproductive. i don't know, i have no idea how we'd go about solving things. i think i'm more of a natural follower. my ideal future has explosive advances like missions to mars and everyone CHILLING THE FUCK OUT and working together toward the the furtherment of our human race. which sounds kind of socialist i guess, but that's not what i mean....
thelovejacket: everyone CHILLING THE FUCK OUT a
thelovejacket: lol. precisely.
thelovejacket: i like to think through these things. i see, over population is a problem. and mainly ...everyone has a huge impact EVERYWHERE. ages ago things were a lot more local. country vs. county, trade routes, a passing depression etc etc, right? the impacts mostly stayed in one area. now a days if anything happens in like ..canada somebody in croatia will be going "HEY!!? >:o hang on a minute!!" but people are not considering these new dimensions, we still seem to look on a local scale because you know , its all about 'us'. additionally, what really pisses me off is the network of global economy. it's probably the most forgotten, best functional, inter and intra connecting web in existence and it's used for CRAP. i mean yes, we get our supplies, but its extremely corrupt. the tribal warrior-kings had the same kind of unlimited power 4,000 ages ago as some of the modern businessmen. there's about a handful of leading organizations/companies which drastically monopolize the world and we're the happy serfs. that makes me mad. mad because its true because the 'unseen' is the 'un existent' and there nothing more cloaked than macroeconomy
thelovejacket: :[
Rosenoir14010: well, that's the selfishness coming into play. everyone in the world working to become to the richest they can. that's the main thing to overcome, really. and it's going to be impossible, because the minute you pipe up with an opinion to that effect you get a ton of angry townspeople with pitchforks chasing after you screaming "COMMIE BASTARDS"
thelovejacket: lol. then the cure is education
thelovejacket: ignorance is the fall of mankind because the rich bastards are by no means evil men, they're just pursue the wrong things by following corrupt ideals. as are the townfolk with pitchfolks et. al. because they have no clue what they're screaming about.
thelovejacket: think about it, if our dumb school boards spend some time teaching us to think for ourselves and adapt some concrete, pure beliefs instead of marinating us in that house-of-DUMB for hours and years with no useful outcome, would the world be a much better place?
thelovejacket: '*wouldn't
Rosenoir14010: most people refer to high school as a place in which you learn how to learn, so that when you study the things you need for your career path, you know best what to do with the knowledge passed around in the classroom.
thelovejacket: i need to get into teaching >.> thats what i have to do.
Rosenoir14010: haha
Rosenoir14010: you'll get yourself fired
Rosenoir14010: i think you hit the nail on the head though
Rosenoir14010: we need to change the ideal
Rosenoir14010: because right now everyone grows up thinking "I'm going to be a wealthy businessman with a huge house and a beautiful family"
Rosenoir14010: instead of "I'm going to help make the world a better place"
Rosenoir14010: the great, inspirational ads on TV inspire young men to "be all they can be" bettering themselves, apparently, by going out and killing other people in the army.
thelovejacket: i considered your point, and it very true. its your emotional crazy stage where you learn who you are and how to interact - that’s great. however! (i'll be above firing. they can fire angry words. it doesn’t stop me) 12 years diane, 12 years where we are left on our own, left to fall into mediocrity and rules and blind submission. i'm not at all saying that everyone in high school is dumb, no, most of the kids are brilliant, but they are not taught how to question fundamentals and look outside the high school walls. it bothers me how people in college need instructions. and then instructions explained 20 times. i have it how everyone is either a) dependent on the grade or b) doesn’t give a fuck at all. both of these are so so so terribly wrong. (lol about the adds. the army is story of its own. initially needed it to protect fragile borders in the dark ages haha. people who say warfare is natural to the 'beastly' man are dumb. there is nothing natural about bred, institutionalized, strategic, patient warfare) high school should never be abolished, no, i see these years as truly, a time and place where i essentially grew up the most. BUT 12 years are wasted. 12 years when our FUNDAMENTALS are laid. that is so crucial! to perceive the world by this time as it truly truly is instead of some self-designed delusional vision. the theories these kids have about life make me want to claw my eyes out. their parents are already wrapped up in a 8 to 5 beat and the teachers, aside from being good at what they do specifically, spend no time guiding the kids. there're there for quizzes and "Repetez apres moi". it makes me SAD. it kills me. i want teachers to enlighten kids, to make them like the classes, to look for challenges and questions. it's really not too much to ask for, we're just too use to this numbing system of just "go and get it over with already". a kid who's completely off the track is considered a burden and a humiliation to the system. instead of trying to show the right way kids are just put into DUMBER, more degrading classes like 'basic' and 'box' where they do nothing. nothing! can you believe it? how can an administrator ever, EVER in his or her right mind raise a protest about anything when they oversee and enforce this stupitification?!! ugh. unbelievable. and that’s okay with everyone. the way to succeed is to fall into the system. to do every hw, do pass every quiz, to listen to the rules. it's so empty, so meaningless and void. yes i've learned my quadratic equations, but i learned that before i ever heard or understood Plato's analogy of the cave. it's empty stuffing of the brain. what use is all that (not really all that. we don’t learn THAt much) information when we don't know how to wield it?
Rosenoir14010: mmm
Rosenoir14010:you also have to factor in how far behind the united states is in schooling. we're very lax about everything. we hardly know anything about our own history. french students could probably recite everything about the civil war and then go on to note politics in argentina. we spend the least time in school of any country.
thelovejacket: so its very simple XD start with the kids. upheave the present order and lay a new one
thelovejacket: AND not to mention only less than 40% of school time is spent on actualy learning
thelovejacket: friggin think about how much 'free' time we get and how easy it is to get it
Rosenoir14010: very true. i hate this year in school because i hardly have any academics. it makes it harder to concentrate when i get to the real classes.
thelovejacket: yeah.
thelovejacket: surely 1/2 of senior years is a waste.
thelovejacket: the beginning is still needed, but right after college apps and midterms everything just stops
Rosenoir14010: yeah, really
Rosenoir14010: most of my teachers have no work for me to make up
Rosenoir14010: i have a shitload of french
thelovejacket: XD. oh, the french
Rosenoir14010: lol

le musique

2006-06-13T01:47:16Z

todays music hunt discoveries:

spoon, (more) snow patrol, orphaned land, opeth, mando diao, the libertines, islands, (more) interpol, Horror pops, finntroll (amazing, i love!), DAT politics and more stratovarius

sweeeet

on why i wasnt in school monday

2006-06-12T21:08:03Z

i had to go to court for a ticket
no popints, $50 violation fine, some fee and $250 insurance surcharge.
in other words, FUCK YOU law enforcement

you know how LONG it takes me to earn $333?
assholes.
it was just cutting through a neighboorhood

eat shit.

so i'm moving

2006-06-12T03:47:52Z

haha not far, not far.
it's a house in gibbsboro township on the road between lindenwold station and 561.

it's a double property house with like ONE neighboor and woods right to the side. very pretty. very wild.
there is a lot of renovations to do etc etc, but mom has this VISION for it, and despite the small size it's very very charming and almost romantic in a way. we already bought it.

i REALLY like it. so does mom.
there wouldn't be any room for elizabeth or john or grandma, so thats AWSOME. phew. and mom says if its just her , albert and us she's completely fine with that, she'll have her life back and prosper her business from there.

i think it's a lovely idea. we just came from there, had a campfire with friends and i already want to go back. plus selling THIS house should kill some of the debt.
yay

YAY!! joy joy

ps. i'll be back in school tuesday. lol.
pss. i'm starting to really consider the santa fe campus for St. john's over annapolis. i might just stay there lol.

BYE

a formal release

2006-06-11T05:16:55Z

i congradulate roy for shedding this 10-months veneer as well
tonight we spent at coffeeworks and ate indian food at his house till 1am.
just like old times
stories and speculations

i love it

GUAAA!!!

2006-06-09T02:44:42Z

dude dude dueddueudueudeuduedud
best night ever lol

i'm friggn bouncing off the walls. everything's awosme and hilarious and i just had 2 amazing convos with matt and paul and i was falling off my chair laughing and now i'm doing lectures for some history chapters and i got an A on that essay and tomorrow is a book sale and i cheered up mom and egkljtgkhj trsh vx

*GRIN*

food and speculations

2006-06-08T15:42:29Z

mmm. delicious ramen! you know how long i haven't had ramen for?
ages! well maybe not ages, but months! chicken & veggie. life halleluja!

but anyway, this entry's really about how.. i'm okay. more than okay really :D
10 months after the break up (LMAO), 10 months of horrible mistrust, isolation, ridiculous theories, ideals, dumb goals, addictions, potent drugs, slaking, misleading, whinning and all around ruining my life...

I'M BACK!

there is not outside motivation or inspiration that i'm getting. I'm just easing off the life i lead this past fall/winter/spring and stretching with joy to the life i USED TO lead.

one of energy and happy things. :D

this is why i'm back on LJ as well, i want to remember these thoughts. i want people to know how i feel, think, what i do instead of hiding.

Genny wrote me a lovely letter a week back or so when i was really upset and it made sense! haha. its not like everything's over with a snap and 'dandy', nope.
but the perception of all situation is different.

i feel open with the world and i'm ok with that. like the waves on a shore, percieving and expressing.

anyway :) and my sickness is going away and naturally it's just a horrid cold.
somebody should really find a cure for those, i have stuff to do
i want to see everyone
i want to go everywhere
i want to do and learn everything

mwah!

almost there

2006-06-08T02:29:47Z

So today i attempted to make it to class and got about 1/5 of the way there.

mom was driving me cause it was raining, and there was traffic and i was burning up with a fever despite the Theraflu (which kicked in an hour later) and i told her to go back.

i hate that. i really love my classes :/
not to mention i can't do 100 other things i love cause i..just can't.

but i plan on seriously improving after tomorrow - the doctor's note is critical. XD
at this point i don't have to fake a thing, but i need an excuse for the week, so it must be drastic mwahahahaha cough cough

also had a serious talk with jonathan about me moving eventually er. ended well?

and got a controlled for my PS2 finally, so i can play KH if i'm not sleepy OR Sonic Heroes which kyle rented for me.

yesssssss
excellent

phantomize @ 2006-06-07T00:12:00

2006-06-07T04:15:16Z

in other words omg i want to die. doctor's appointment tomorrow and hopefully i'll be able to exaggerate myself into mono and sleep for a week. that's the game plan anyway.

also had a trail of thought on the train from broadway and almost missed my station.

"Knowledge is a ripple in the fabric of God." - did i steal this from somebody? i cant remember

point 6) democracy works because it gives a suitable share of the resources back to the civilians.

those resources have to either come from:
a) taxing the rich (theoretically)
or
b)obraining the resources from other countries.

my question is whether the current administration, unable to tax the populus any higher and adverse to taxing the wealthy, is reaching into other countries for those resources.
What resources exactly I am unable to decode.
The answer is not oil, it's greater.

On the other hand it could be a megalomaniacal campaign, but most logically its a mixture of all.

History assignment

2006-06-06T20:27:39Z

I haven't proof read it yet, there's time for that on the train e.e but there's the question i had to answer:

did the expereince of conquest by Babylon and/or Greeks alter or intensify the religious doctrines of the prophetic revolution?

and here's my answer as far as i knew it XD if i'm wrong, i'm screwed, but please correct me
mwah

The concepts and ideas seen in today’s world were not always apparent through human history, but are instead the result of a long evolutionary process of cause and effect. Similarly, one of the most influential beliefs of today, the Judean theology, has been sculpted from primitive tribal worship to global monotheism. Some of the most critical shaping moments occurred during the foundation of the Hebrew state when foreign powers had unlimited authority over the Hebrew culture, especially its religion. The most authoritative of these powers, New Babylon and Greece, altered and intensified the Jewish religious doctrines during the prophetic revolution, thus forever changing the meaning of Judaism to the form observed today.
The Philistine kingdom, created by the nomad Hebrew people, formed only a sojourn home under King David and King Solomon. Their view of God, or Yahweh, was one of justice and vengeance, adorned with rites, taboos, rituals and anchored to the land of the Hebrews. Three primary doctrines were prophesized: Yahweh is the only true god; Yahweh is the god of righteousness - evil comes from humans; Yahweh demands unquestionable moral behavior from his followers. In 922BC, however, the kingdom split apart into the Kingdoms of Israel and Judah, the former annihilated by the Assyrians in 722BC and the latter conquered and exiled by the New Babylonians in 586BC under king Nebuchadnezzar. This schism and migration of the Hebrew people into Babylon severely shook the most fundamental beliefs. By the pact with Abraham, Yahweh was supposed to protect his followers and the Promise Land, yet under the current defeat it seemed that Yahweh has abandoned them. This brought on a very depressing stage in Hebrew history, which is apparent in their writings. Many of the Psalms, Lamenations, and even the book of Job written a hundred years later describe the mourning of Yahweh’s followers at this time. Due to this the Hebrews start to blame the ‘fall’ on themselves, believing they have strayed from the original teachings of God and are therefore suffering. During the time of the exile the Torah was revised, perfected and studied law by law. This fervent following of the laws is till present today and prevents Jewish followers form straying from the word of the Lord. This revival of the Torah also brought forth a strong sense of nationalism, even away from the Promise Land. The idea of an anchored god eradicated as Hebrews started to form their own communities in Babylon and in a sense Yahweh came to them.
In 539BC relief came to the Hebrews as Cyprus the Persian conquered New Babylon and allowed the followers to move back to Palestine and honor their god. The zeal of freedom as well as the end of their punishment only intensified the meaning of Yahweh as the sole Lord to the people. However, the Hebrews moved back to their land not without change. While some were in captivity, the remaining Judeans adopted a lot of Zoroastialistic ideas from the Persians. Zoroastrialism preached the existence of dualism in God where there was a definite good battling a definite evil, it preached an apocalypse at the end of time where good God and his followers over comes evil and finally preached the existence of a long afterlife. None of these elements were present in the Hebrew faith until the reunion of the exiles and remaining Judeans.
Whereas the New Babylonians gave way for philosophical advances, the Greeks provided a more practical advance – nationalism. Finally reunited, although under foreign rule, the Hebrew was able to cultivate and spread their religion. The prophetic revolution truly came into effect as the Hellenistic era improved communication multifold. Even though the Hebrews deeply disliked the Greeks, they were able to travel freely around the Asia Minor and form independent communities away from home. Although their nationalism motivated them to persecute other religions, it also connected them closely around one goal and one faith – reach salvation under Yahweh. The final major contribution toward the Hebrew doctrines from the Greeks came in 168BC under the revolt of Judas Maccabeus. The constant lordship and oppression of the Hebrews made them wonder about the power and significance of their small state in the world and as P. L. Ralph states it “and hence began to fix upon messianic and millenarian expectations.” The Hebrews, at this time called the Jews, encompassed into their religion the final factor of a ‘savior’ who will come to redeem mankind.
Thus through indirect rule the New Babylonians and the Greeks influenced the formation of the most important doctrines of the Jewish faith. The New Babylonians, thorough the imposed exile, strengthened the Jewish beliefs, making them resort to the old scriptures and reviving a strong sense for personal salvation. The split also gave way for the Zoroastrial ideas of dualism, apocalypse and an afterlife to morph into the existing faith. Finally the Greeks aided the spread of Judaism and helped create the idea of a messiah who is righteous and will lead his followers into a heavenly afterlife.

flippin sick gah

2006-06-06T12:26:44Z

I haven't actually been sick in ages and it kind of sucks! yep!

not to mention i still have to do all of that stuff and senior cut day (not that i was actually going to cut) is completely going to waste.

I dont even want to drive to the doctor's for the note puuuke

mer mer
ah, for the lovely people who wanted to hang out - i'm almost done school and then i'm free as a nocturnal moth and can hang out anytime. it's not that highschool matters and i have to do work for it, but it takes up time and all my other work has to get done between school hours.

which is annoying, but what the hell, we're almost there.

I haven't finished Portrait of the Artist yet, but I like it a lot even though everyone hates it. I've read the description of hell like 3 times to my friends. He's amazing with words. Amazing!

Okay i need something hot and tea-like and DRUGS!!!! As much as i detest them, i need to get up and finish my essays and i want to do is ..not move.

Oh hey! I was having mild hallucinations last night! Cause i didn't sleep for that long and then had lots of coffee, but decided to fall asleep anyway.
That was fun! colorful. filled with creatures, plants and noices...

however...bai!!
<33

must work must work!

2006-06-06T00:37:18Z

So last night I stayed up all night with kyle putting together my journal from bits and pieces of about 7 diaries, the LJ at 'dimmedlight' and looseleaf poems etc.

awsome. i was so happy going through all that stuff and i recommend it to everyone :D

anyway! therefor, as usual, i have a crap load of work due tomorrow which i have to start NOW. ima go do that!!!

Jonathan gave me his flippin cold, but I'm going to make all of the deadlines, biotches.

I'm going back to the endless energy i use to have and poo on anyone who objects!!!

:O:O:O:O:O :3:3:3:3:3